High Functioning Anxiety: The Hidden Habits You Didn’t Realise Were Anxiety
You’re widely known as the person who always has it together, stays super organized, and is constantly on the ball. Others naturally regard you as the reliable, go-to person who can always be counted on to step up and do whatever needs to be done. You are always ready to lend a helping hand and rarely say no to others’ requests, no matter how full your own plate is. At work or at university, you’re the high flier who never misses a deadline, routinely finishes work early, and consistently performs to an exceptionally high standard.
But what if some of these positive qualities you are so celebrated for are actually hidden signs of nervous system dysregulation and anxiety? Keep reading if this sounds like your daily experience…
Habits That Seem Healthy But Are Actually Driven by Anxiety:
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Over-preparing for everyday situations long after you’ve already mastered the material.
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Over-researching and compulsively googling every available option before making a simple decision.
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Needing to be early everywhere or feeling an intense urge to finish projects long before actual deadlines.
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Over-rehearsing presentations and conversations in your head until you feel completely exhausted.
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Not saying no to requests purely out of a deep-seated fear of disappointing others or letting them down.
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Over-working yourself and over-scheduling your calendar, inevitably leading to physical and emotional burnout.
Understanding the Overthinking and Perfectionism Trap
These habits may seem completely healthy on the surface—and to a moderate extent, they really are useful strengths. However, constantly worrying about "getting it right" can manifest in lots of subtle, taxing ways. For example, it might show up as continuing to compulsively google or research different options just to reassure yourself that you have chosen the right restaurant, booked the absolute best holiday, or ordered the perfect item out of all the endless choices on Amazon!
Not being able to decline a request or engaging in persistent "people pleasing" due to a fear of letting others down is another common way high-functioning anxiety shows up. You might find yourself signing up to join the local PTA or taking on a heavy extra workload for a colleague who has gone off sick or on holiday, despite the massive toll it takes on your own well-being. Inside, resentment and frustration quietly build up, yet you still can't seem to bring yourself to say no. Others’ needs always seem to take priority over your own, causing you to neglect yourself just to remain helpful and useful to everyone else.
The Toll of Perfectionism and Chronic Burnout
Working yourself to this extreme degree almost always results in severe burnout, leaving you feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and constantly on edge—as if you are never doing enough. Yet, you can't seem to allow yourself to ease up on your endless to-do list because you have a deep-seated emotional need to stay productive and feel competent at all times.
At other times, a strong fear of failure rooted in perfectionism can cause you to worry endlessly about not finishing everything on your list or making the "wrong" choice. You might hold very rigid ideas about what you should be able to achieve, criticizing yourself harshly whenever you feel you have fallen short of your own high expectations. Ultimately, you may find it incredibly hard to give yourself permission to be imperfect or to show any signs of perceived weakness to the people around you.
How To Break the Cycle of High Functioning Anxiety
Easier said than done, but one way is to start building awareness of when you are expecting too much of yourself. Try to challenge these thoughts and give yourself permission to do less or say no. Develop some coping statements to affirm that it is important to listen to your own needs.
Set Boundaries
When others ask too much of you, or you ask too much of yourself- give yourself permission to say no. Disappointing yourself is just as important as a fear of disappointing others. Develop an assertive communication style where you can respectfully manage others’ expectations and speak up when needed.
Relaxation and Down Time
Relaxing is not being lazy. There will always be more to do on your list, but that doesn’t mean that it is the best thing for you. Having do nothing time to relax and unwind, time for hobbies and self care, and prioritising rest and exercise are all vital to optimal performance.
Further Support
You don’t have to struggle alone. If you are ready to give yourself some support with high functioning anxiety, click the contact form on the website to start the process today.
