Why Can't I Stop Worrying? A Psychologist Explains
You’re up late at night again, worrying about what tomorrow will bring at work. It’s a nightly occurrence now, waking up in the middle of the night plagued with racing thoughts and a feeling of dread about going into work the next day. The worries circle round and round in your head, as you imagine worst case scenarios and feel more and more anxious. You can’t seem to switch off and relax to go back to sleep; you are too tense and feel like you can’t stop the worries. If this sounds like you, keep reading to understand why from an anxiety specialist.
Worry Can be Healthy and Normal
We all worry about different things at different times. Health, money, the future, work, our loved ones, etc. In fact, worrying can be a healthy thing to do when there is real evidence that a problem exists. Healthy worrying can lead us to effective problem solving by signaling our brains to take timely action. For example, if I’m worried about giving a big presentation at work to the board of directors, this worry will alert me to go into preparation mode by taking the appropriate steps to research, prepare, and practice my presentation ahead of time. Without this added level of worry, I may not optimise my performance on the day by taking the right steps to organise and prepare myself.
When Worry Becomes a Problem
Sometimes we can get caught in worry cycles, which is worrying for the sake of worrying, when we don’t actually have a problem (yet). There may be the thought that comes into the mind which is usually a worst case possibility, or a thought that starts with “what if”. Instead of pulling ourselves back at this point and re directing our thoughts, we jump down the rabbit hole and run with the thought that is only a remote possibility in our minds. When this happens, we get caught in worry traps that result in us worrying round and round in circles, imagining the worst and catastrophising, without actually leading us to problem solving.
How Chronic Worrying Affects Us
When we are worrying about an imagined worst case scenario, it can impact us in the following ways:
- Interrupted or poor quality sleep
- Feelings of anxiety
- Muscle tension, tension headaches, restlessness or a feeling of being on edge
- Increased irritability with others
- Feeling down or experiencing low mood
- Panic attacks
- Avoiding active problem solving and procrastinating instead
How to Cope with Worry: Psychologist Approved Tips
- Catch the worry early and identify whether it is a helpful worry alerting you to a problem that needs solving or actions that need to be taken or an imagined fear that is more of a hypothetical scenario. Take action to bring a sense of control to your worries if there are productive actions you can take to solve the problem.
- Re direct your thinking at the first sign of catastrophising worries (worrying about an imagined worst case scenario). Ask yourself if this is the most likely scenario to occur, and if it is not, then remind yourself this is just one possible situation. Challenge yourself to think of the most likely or probable outcome instead. Then, try to keep an open mind of all the different options and notice how that changes the intensity of your anxiety.
- Prioritise anxiety relieving activities. What can you do to calm yourself? Exercise, journaling thoughts and feelings, hobbies, connecting with loved ones and friends, deep breathing exercises, or listening to relaxing music can help to regulate your anxiety levels and provide healthy distractions.
If you have tried all of these things and need more support, finding an anxiety specialist can be a helpful investment in your mental health and personal growth. An experienced clinical psychologist is trained in several different therapy models and can work with you to create a personalised treatment plan to help you feel more in control of your worries.
