Imposter Syndrome
It was the first day of my master’s program and I was meeting my new classmates and professors for the first time in my induction. I was suddenly overcome by a wave of anxiety and self doubt in the presence of these incredibly intelligent people. All this time I had been ecstatic that I had finally been selected after two grueling years of applying nation wide for a place. It had been an incredibly competitive process of taking standardised exams, preparing a well thought out statement, interviewing, and then being offered a place. I had worked so hard and I had been so proud of myself. So why, suddenly, was I overcome with a wave of insecurity and self doubt? It was more than that, in fact.
As I sat in the seminar room, one of 8 who had been selected for entry out of at least 500 applicants, I knew it. I just KNEW- there had been a mistake. The selection committee had made an admin error and clicked yes on my application by accident. The game was up, it was only a matter of time before they would discover this and kick me out. I was absolutely convinced of this, in fact. And then time went on, I attended course after course, submitted paper after paper, exam after exam, and that moment of being outed as an imposter never came. Instead, I was subsequently admitted into multiple PhD programs, completed my clinical placements successfully, defended my dissertation, and passed my licensing exams. Once in awhile, when I’m feeling anxious or insecure about something, that imposter syndrome returns. Only this time, I know it is a normal experience that occurs when you have worked so very hard to achieve something that feels too good to be true. Almost everyone will experience it at some time in their lives, and it is a very normal part of the human experience.
How Imposter Syndrome Can Show Up at Work
-
Feelings of self doubt and anxiety when you finally land your first job or receive a promotion
-
Persistent beliefs that you are a fraud
-
Fear of being found out and losing your job or being demoted or put on a performance management plan
-
Worrying that you will not be able to live up to your boss’s expectations
-
Feelings of dread and difficulty relaxing
-
Insomnia or crappy sleep quality when you do sleep
-
Heightened anxiety when you have to “perform” at work, such as deliver on a project, facilitate a presentation, or contribute your ideas in a team
What to Do About It
Imposter syndrome is completely normal and most of us will experience it at some point in our lives. You have worked so hard to achieve this milestone and it’s only natural to wonder if it will last or if you are actually up to the task. Most of the time, imposter syndrome settles down on its own once you are able to observe yourself actually coping well in your work role and managing the demands of the job effectively. It’s important to be patient with yourself during this time and prioritise good self care, as well as challenge some of those pesky self doubts that creep in. If you do find yourself struggling with imposter syndrome for a longer time though, or if it starts to get in the way of being able to function well at work or in your personal life, then it’s time to seek some professional help.
