Coping with Anxiety and the Festive Season
Every year, my children’s school goes manic with Christmas activities in the last two weeks of the term. With separate events for infants and juniors, it feels like I need a full time personal assistant to keep me up to speed. With nativities, Christmas concerts, Christmas lunches, packed lunches, trips to the pantomime, non uniform days, donation days, I feel frazzled in the run up to Christmas, constantly trying to play catch up and not forget a donation or a packed lunch along the way! Then there’s the work and family parties and events- how does one stay sane, never mind ENJOY this time of year? Keep reading to find out my top tips on how I am coping with my anxiety leading up to Christmas.
Accept the Over Stimulating Madness and Remember it’s Temporary
There, I said it. To me, coming from a religious and ethnic background where we do not celebrate Christmas as a family, it seems like over the top stimulation with constant in your face lights, events, things to remember, and excitement so that schools can instill the “Christmas magic” for the children.
A noble intention, no doubt, but in this era of constant stimulation from technological gadgets, bright in your face TV shows and movies, do we really need our children to be any more distracted and over stimulated than they already are? And as parents, the need to keep on top of multiple events on different days, multiplied by the number of children you have, just feels like setting us up to fail.
I vote for ONE, just one, school related Christmas lunch/party/concert/nativity day, accompanied by one donation and non uniform day. Please simplify this for parents, if not the children.
I’m not going to get that, and I don’t want my children to miss out. So I deal with it. Acceptance is the way forward. Ride the wave, take it one day at a time, and remind yourself as I do, that this un needed stress and over stimulation is temporary.
Set Boundaries
It’s OK to say no and miss a few events if it’s all feeling overwhelming and stressing you out. Enjoying yourself and being truly present at a few festive celebrations will feel much more manageable and less anxiety inducing than saying yes to everything and then burning out. Dragging yourself out to all the things and then feeling irritable and frustrated isn’t doing anyone any favours, least of all yourself!
Try to make some time where possible for do nothing time, quiet time, or down time where you unplug from technology and take time to rest, go for a walk in nature, or read a book.
Replace Self Critical Thoughts with Self Compassionate Thoughts
It’s easy to start judging yourself for all kinds of reasons when you’re overwhelmed and anxious during what is supposed to be a magical, exciting, family oriented time of year. Maybe that’s part of the problem! Sometimes the expectations you place on yourself, especially with the perfect aesthetic created on social media platforms, can really bring out the inner self critic.
Instead of beating yourself up for not being on top of everything, not being excited for Christmas, for feeling stressed out and frazzled, or for forgetting a donation or something else your child needed for a school event, try a little self compassion instead.
Start by acknowledging what a tricky time of year this can be, and that however you are feeling might be trying to tell you something important. It’s OK to feel mixed emotions about the festive season or to feel that all the demands on your time and everything you need to remember can zap the fun out of this time of year. Try talking to yourself the way you would talk to a friend and notice what happens to your thoughts and emotions.
Final Thoughts
Experiencing anxiety at this time of year is very normal and understandable. Parties and work socials can trigger a lot of social anxiety in people. Those who have lost a loved one can find Christmas and New Year a time of sadness and grief. People who are perfectionists can set really high and unattainable expectations of themselves to make sure their families have the best Christmas ever. There’s a lot of hype out there. It’s OK if that’s not your thing, and it’s OK if you thrive off that too!
